SHELL PRESIDENT Cor Herkstroter and his bosom pal Lord Maurice Saatchi concocted between them a £100 million global corporate campaign to convince the inhabitants of our planet that the oil colossus has their best interests at heart. The campaign was intended to counter negative perceptions about the company and its less than pristine record on human rights and the environment. Herkstroter reportedly told his assembled minions: 'We must stop apologising for what we are. We should be proud of what we stand for, and need to communicate that.' [And who better for such a task than Lord Morrie whose inspired creative thinking helped pave the way to a Labour landslide with his risible 'Demon Eyes' campaign?] Fortunately, sanity prevailed and Herkstroter (who retires in June) and Morrie were overruled in favour of a less narcissistic approach. Said one Shell mole: 'Lord Saatchi gained a lot of clout in Shell but it was felt the M&C Saatchi work should go through the proper process, and did not perform well in research.' Insiders credit the recently appointed Raoul Pinnell, Shell's head of global branding, with this rare victory for common sense over corporate cloddishness. It its not known which of Shell's incumbent agencies, JWT and Ogilvy and Mather, will create the reformulated campaign.