Philip Morris-owned Miller Brewing is said to be talking marriage with two UK based brewers: Scottish & Newcastle and London-headquartered South African Breweries – the globe’s fifth largest beer company whose muscle lies mainly in developing countries.

An inked deal would create the largest brewing company on the planet, giving Miller brands greater access to overseas markets plus a healthy crop of imports for sale in the US.

But the Doubting Thomas tendency raised its head, claiming that British beers are “too heavy” to titillate American palates. “Sometimes you add a negative and a negative and do not get a positive,” said the aptly-named Thomas Pirko, president of the beverage consultancy Bevmark.

None of the parties involved were willing to comment on the tripartite discussions. Miller currently accounts for a declining 5% of Philip Morris’ revenue.

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