Lest our headline be misunderstood, the 'depths' in question were those of circulation, not factuality.
Britain's tabloid daily newspapers, collectively known as 'red-tops' due to their mutual taste in vermillion banners, sank below the six million circulation mark last month - an all time nadir - dropping from 6.04m in February to 5.97m in March.
Even Rupert Murdoch's shining market leader The Sun began to set, falling by 1.09% in a single month to 3,110,999 copies - its lowest level in thirty-two years.
The health of number two red top, the Daily Mirror, was in even more parlous state, dropping 1.33% to a new low of 1,634,584. The Daily Star also stopped twinkling with a slide of 1.6% to 783,511.
In the mid-market sector, the Daily Mail sagged 1.7% to 2,397,768 copies, while the Daily Express crept marginally upward with a 0.49% increase to 831,923.
At the swanky end of the market, the only paper to show a marked improvement was the reinvigorated Financial Times, up 1.7% to 445,986. The Times and the Daily Telegraph were all but static, inching up 0.04% to 669,973 and 901,491 respectively.
The Guardian fell 0.81% to 379,835, its lowest ebb since a major relaunch in September when it sold 404,187 copies; while The Independent suffered the largest shift in fortune with a slump of 3.84% to 255,849 copies.
Data sourced from BrandRepublic (UK); additional content by WARC staff