'Thanks But No Thanks,' GSD&M Tells Wal-Mart

18 December 2006

AUSTIN, Texas: Former Wal-Mart incumbent agency GSD&M deserves every award in the advertising canon for what ranks as the decade's silkiest suggestion that a client insert its advertising account northbound into its own alimentary canal.

All hail GSD&M president and co-founder Roy Spence, who declined an invitation from the world's mightiest retailer to contend again for its $580 million (€442.9m; £296.9m) ad account - awarded to and then confiscated from DraftFCB within the space of just seven weeks!

With the smoothness of a chocolate commercial and the deftness of a surgeon, Spence administered his coup de grace.

"I want to thank Wal-Mart for inviting us to repitch the business. I have decided to decline. We helped build Wal-Mart from $11 billion in sales to $312 billion. We declare victory. We will do everything to make the transition perfect. We wish our great friends well."

Trouble is, the buttoned-down Bentonville rubes will probably take Spence's velvety kiss-off at face value.

Data sourced from AdWeek (USA); additional content by WARC staff